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Tip of the Day

Advocate

The tools and scripts to help you advocate for your child with confidence.

Child Snapshots

Generate and share your child's personalised profile.

Scripts for Parents

Word-for-word scripts for confident advocacy conversations.

Scripts for Parents

These scripts give you the words to advocate confidently and clearly for your child.

⚠️

Starting points only

These scripts are templates to help you get started. Every situation is different, adapt them to your child's specific circumstances before use. myNDchild does not provide legal, educational, or professional advice. For complex matters, seek independent guidance from a disability advocate, solicitor, or education specialist.

📎

Sharing your child's snapshot & supporting documents

Give every teacher and support worker what they need to truly understand and support your child.

›

Most school challenges happen because the adults around your child simply don't have the right information, not because they don't care. Proactively sharing a clear snapshot at the start of the year, or whenever there's a new teacher or support worker, sets everyone up for a great year together.

📋 The Script

Hi [Teacher's / Support Worker's name],

I'm [your name], [child's name]'s [parent name]. I wanted to reach out to share some resources that I hope will make things easier to understand and support [child's name].

I've put together a personalised snapshot for [child's name] that covers:
• Their neurotype and what it actually means in practice
• Sensory sensitivities and what helps or makes things harder
• How they communicate, and what to do if they go quiet or shut down
• Their most common triggers and early warning signs
• What helps when they're starting to get overwhelmed
• Their strengths, passions, and what makes them light up
• Recommended accommodations that make a real difference

You can view [child's name]'s full interactive snapshot here, each section has an info button with more detail if you'd like to understand the why behind anything:
[child's snapshot link]

I've also attached [update to what applies: their current ILP / recent OT or psychology report / a letter from their paediatrician / previous school reports] if you'd like more background.

[Child's name] works best when the adults around them understand their nervous system, not just their neurotype. I'd love to have a short conversation if you'd like to talk through anything, ask questions, or understand a particular area better. I'm very easy to reach and I genuinely want us to work as a team.

Please don't hesitate to reach out. The earlier we can talk about something, the easier it is to sort out together.

[Your name]
[Phone / preferred contact method]

📎 What to Attach

🔗 myNDchild Child Snapshot (Online)

Your child's personalised interactive snapshot, share the link directly from the Snapshot tab using the Share button. Recipients can tap the ℹ️ icon on each section to learn more about what it means and why it matters. This is your most important document; write it thoughtfully and keep it up to date. A PDF version is also available if needed.

📄 Diagnostic report or summary letter

The full report from the psychologist or paediatrician who identified their neurotype, or a shorter summary letter if the full report is very long. Teachers don't need to read 40 pages: a one-page summary from the assessing professional can carry significant weight.

🖐️ OT sensory profile or report

If your child has had an occupational therapy assessment, the sensory profile is gold. It explains in practical terms what the environment is doing to your child's nervous system, and what adjustments help. Many teachers have never seen one; it can be genuinely illuminating.

📘 Current Individual Learning Plan (ILP)

If your child has an ILP at their current or previous school, share it. It documents what adjustments are already agreed, and signals to the new teacher that this is a documented, formal arrangement, not just a parent request.

A short "how to reach me" note

Make it easy for the teacher to contact you early if something's happening. Some parents include a note like: "If you ever notice [child's name] struggling, please reach out, even if it feels minor. I'd much rather hear from you early than find out weeks later."

💡 Tips for Sharing

When to send it

Send this in the week before or the first week of term; before patterns are established. For new support workers or specialist teachers, send it the moment you know who they are. The earlier the better.

📬 How to send it

Email is best; it creates a record that the information was shared, and the teacher can refer back to it. If you hand over physical documents, follow up with a brief email saying "I wanted to confirm I gave you X, Y and Z today."

🔄 Keep it current

Your child's snapshot should be updated at least once a year, and whenever something significant changes (new neurotype identification, new medication, major change at home, change in what's helping). An outdated snapshot can be almost as misleading as no snapshot at all.

💡 Why This Works

Teachers who understand a child's nervous system before problems arise are far more likely to respond with curiosity rather than discipline when something goes wrong. You're not asking for special treatment; you're giving them the information they need to do their job well. Most teachers are grateful for it.

📞

Requesting a meeting with the classroom teacher

When you need to raise concerns but aren't sure how to start the conversation.

›

Use this when you need to flag concerns early; before things escalate. Email or in person both work.

📋 The Script

Hi [Teacher's name], I'd love to find a time to connect about [child's name]. I've noticed some things at home that I think might be affecting how they're going at school, and I want to make sure we're working together on this early.

Would you have 15–20 minutes this week or next? I'm flexible on timing; whatever works for you.

[Your name]
[Phone / preferred contact method]

🔁 If They Push Back

"Everything looks fine from my end."

Say: "I'm really glad to hear that, and I don't doubt things may look okay in class. What I'm seeing at home is significant though, and I've learned that ND kids often hold it together at school and fall apart at home. That pattern is actually really common and worth discussing. Could we still find a time?"

"You should speak to the learning support teacher instead."

Say: "Happy to do that too; I'd actually love to have both of you in the conversation if possible. Can we set something up together, or would it be easier if I reach out to them directly?"

💡 Good to Know

Under the Disability Discrimination Act 1992 and the Disability Standards for Education 2005, schools are legally required to consult with parents and students when making reasonable adjustments. You have the right to request meetings and be part of any decisions about your child's education.

🚨

When the school responds to dysregulation with consequences

Kept in at lunch, sent to the office, missing an activity, use this to talk through a better plan together.

›

When a child is dysregulated, melting down, shutting down, refusing a task, they're responding to being overwhelmed, not making a deliberate behaviour choice. Consequence-based responses in those moments tend to increase the overwhelm rather than resolve it. These scripts help you open a calm conversation about a better plan.

Common situations: kept in at lunch to finish work they couldn't complete during class, sent to the office, excluded from an activity, made to sit apart from peers.

📋 The Script; Verbal / In Person

I wanted to talk about what happened with [child's name] recently, specifically when [they were kept in at lunch / sent to the office / missed the excursion] after a period of dysregulation.

I know that wasn't an easy situation, and I appreciate you dealing with it in the moment. I just wanted to share some context about how [child's name] works, because it might help us put a better plan in place for next time.

From what we understand about [child's name]'s profile, when they're dysregulated it's usually a sign they were already overwhelmed, and at that point, they genuinely can't respond or re-engage until they've had some time to recover. Consequences in that moment don't tend to help them learn from the situation, those responses tend to add to the overwhelm rather than resolve it.

What seems to work better is some quiet time, space to decompress, and a calm check-in once they've settled. I'd love to work together on a simple response plan so everyone knows what to do in the moment, would that be okay?

[Your name]
[Phone / preferred contact method]

📧 The Script; Email Version

Hi [name],

I wanted to follow up on what happened earlier this week when [child's name] was [kept in at lunch / sent to the office / excluded from an activity] following a period of dysregulation.

I'm not writing to make a complaint, I just wanted to share some context that might help us work out a better plan together.

[Child's name]'s neurotype is [neurotype], and from what we understand about their profile, dysregulation is usually a sign they were already overwhelmed rather than a deliberate choice. When they're in that state, they're not able to think clearly, respond calmly, or learn from consequences, they need time to recover first.

What tends to help: a quiet space to decompress, reduced demands for a short period, and a gentle check-in once they've settled. Consequences applied during or immediately after dysregulation tend to increase the overwhelm rather than resolve it.

I'd really appreciate the chance to talk through what a different response plan might look like, and to have that documented in [child's name]'s plan so everyone has a clear guide for next time. Would you be open to a brief conversation?

[Your name]
[Phone / preferred contact method]

🔁 If They Push Back

"They need to learn that their actions have consequences."

Say: "I completely agree, and we work on that at home too. The thing is, that conversation needs to happen once [child's name] has recovered and is in a calm headspace. When they're still overwhelmed, they genuinely can't take it in. A debrief a bit later tends to work so much better than anything said in the moment."

"The work still needs to be completed."

Say: "Absolutely, and I'm not asking for [child's name] to be exempt from work. I just think lunch, one of the only breaks in their day, is when they reset. If that's removed, the afternoon tends to be harder, not easier. Could we find a different time or approach for the outstanding work instead?"

"We have to be consistent with all students."

Say: "I get that, and I know it's a tricky balance. What I'd love is for the response to [child's name] to match what they actually need, rather than a one-size-fits-all approach. Reasonable adjustments are part of what schools are required to provide, and I think a tailored response plan would actually make things easier for everyone, not just [child's name]."

"They were disrupting the class and we had to do something."

Say: "Totally, and I'm not asking you to do nothing. What would actually help is having a simple plan ready: a space [child's name] can go to, a trusted adult they can check in with, and a lower-demand period while they settle. That way you've got something to reach for in the moment. Could we put something like that together?"

💡 Good to Know

Under the Disability Standards for Education, schools are required to make reasonable adjustments for students with disability, and that includes how they respond to disability-related behaviour. If you've had this conversation and nothing has changed, you can ask for the issue to be documented formally, or escalate to the school's disability coordinator or your state education authority.

📄

Asking for an Individual Learning Plan (ILP)

Your child is entitled to documented adjustments. Here's how to ask.

›

An ILP (also called a Learning Adjustment Plan or Personalised Learning Plan depending on your state) documents the adjustments your child needs. It should be reviewed at least twice a year.

📋 The Script

I'd like to formally request that [child's name] has an Individual Learning Plan developed or updated. Their neurotype is [neurotype] and I want to make sure the adjustments they need are documented and consistently applied across all their classes.

Can we set up a meeting to discuss this? I'd like to be involved in writing the plan and I'd appreciate a copy once it's done.

[Your name]
[Phone / preferred contact method]

🔁 If They Push Back

"We don't do ILPs unless the child is really struggling."

Say: "Under the Disability Standards for Education 2005, schools are required to make reasonable adjustments for students with disability, and neurodivergent neurotypes are covered under the Disability Discrimination Act. An ILP is how those adjustments are documented. I'd like one in place for [child's name] please."

"They're coping fine without one."

Say: "I understand it may look that way, but 'coping' often means masking; which is exhausting and unsustainable. A plan doesn't mean they can't cope. It means the school is proactively supporting them so they don't have to work so hard just to keep up."

💡 Good to Know

The Disability Standards for Education 2005 require schools to consult with students and parents, and to make reasonable adjustments. The NCCD (Nationally Consistent Collection of Data) requires schools to record all students receiving adjustments; your child should already be on this register if they have a neurotype.

🚨

When the school says "they're fine here"

The after-school crash is real. Here's how to explain it without being dismissed.

›

One of the most frustrating experiences for ND parents. School sees a child who holds it together; home sees the full weight of that effort. Both are true.

📋 The Script

Thank you for sharing that, it's really good to hear that [child's name] is managing well at school.

I wanted to share a bit of context from our end, because what we're seeing at home might actually give us a fuller picture together.

By the time [child's name] gets home, they're often really exhausted and dysregulated, even on days when school seems to have gone well. A lot of neurodivergent kids work very hard to hold things together during the day, and the release tends to happen at home once they feel safe. It doesn't mean anything is wrong at school, it's actually a sign they're putting in a lot of effort.

I'd love to work together to make things a little easier for them during the school day, before the load builds up. Would you be open to a quick chat about what we're each seeing and whether there are any small adjustments that might help?

[Your name]
[Phone / preferred contact method]

🔁 If They Push Back

"Maybe the issue is something happening at home?"

Say: "Home is actually pretty settled, I think what we're seeing is the decompression that happens once [child's name] feels safe. A lot of ND kids hold everything together during the school day and then release it at home. It's worth us looking at whether the load at school is heavier than we realise."

"All kids are tired after school."

Say: "Totally, and I get that. What we're seeing goes a bit beyond tired though; it's [describe what you see at home]. I just want to make sure we're keeping an eye on it together, especially if there are things at school we could adjust to make the day a bit lighter for them."

📧

Following up in writing after a verbal conversation

Always confirm conversations in writing. This protects your child.

›

Verbal agreements at school meetings often don't get actioned. A follow-up email creates a paper trail and gently holds the school accountable.

📋 The Script

Hi [name],

Thank you for meeting with me [today / on Monday]. I just wanted to follow up in writing to confirm what we discussed and agreed.

My understanding is that:
• [Adjustment 1; e.g. '[Child] will have extra time on written tasks']
• [Adjustment 2; e.g. 'They'll be given advance notice of any changes to routine']
• [Next step; e.g. 'We'll review progress at the end of Term 2']

Please let me know if I've misunderstood anything. I'll keep this email for our records.

Thanks again for your time.

[Your name]
[Phone / preferred contact method]

💡 Why This Matters

Written records are essential if you ever need to escalate a concern to the principal, the school's disability coordinator, or the relevant state education authority. Always follow up verbally agreed adjustments in writing.

⏱️

Requesting extra time on assessments

Processing speed differences are neurological. Extra time is a right, not a favour.

›

Extra time provisions don't give ND students an advantage; they level the playing field for a neurological difference in processing speed.

📋 The Script

I'd like to request extended time provisions for [child's name] on tests and written assessments. Their neurotype is [neurotype] which affects processing speed; this is neurological, not a reflection of their knowledge or effort.

This is a standard reasonable adjustment under the Disability Standards for Education. I'd like this documented in their ILP and applied consistently across all subjects.

[Your name]
[Phone / preferred contact method]

🔁 If They Push Back

"It wouldn't be fair to the other students."

Say: "Reasonable adjustments are not about giving extra advantage; they're about removing a barrier caused by disability. A student with a broken leg using a ramp isn't getting an advantage over students using stairs. Extra time works the same way. It's legally required."

"They finish their work fine in class."

Say: "Class tasks and timed assessments are different contexts with very different anxiety and pressure levels. Processing speed differences often show up specifically under timed, high-stakes conditions; which is exactly when the adjustment matters most."

💡 Good to Know

Reasonable adjustments are required under the Disability Standards for Education 2005. Schools cannot refuse to provide adjustments that are documented in a student's plan. If a school refuses a reasonable adjustment, this may constitute unlawful discrimination under the Disability Discrimination Act 1992.

🤫

Requesting a quiet space / sensory break option

Regulation before learning. Your child needs an escape valve during the day.

›

Without somewhere to decompress, sensory and social overload builds until the nervous system exits its window of tolerance. A quiet space isn't a reward; it's a regulation tool.

📋 The Script

I'd like to request that [child's name] has access to a quiet space or designated sensory break option during the school day; particularly during unstructured times like lunch and recess.

Their neurotype means they accumulate sensory and social load throughout the day, and without somewhere to decompress, that load builds to the point of dysregulation. This isn't about avoiding class; it's about giving them the regulation support they need to stay in their window of tolerance and remain available for learning.

[Your name]
[Phone / preferred contact method]

🔁 If They Push Back

"We can't supervise a student in a separate space."

Say: "It doesn't need to be a dedicated room; it could be the library, a quiet corner of a classroom, or access to the learning support space. I'm flexible on the how. I just need [child's name] to have somewhere to go when they're overwhelmed."

"They need to learn to cope with the playground like everyone else."

Say: "Coping skills are built from a regulated nervous system; they can't be demanded from a dysregulated one. Forcing [child's name] to 'cope' without the tools they need doesn't build resilience. It builds anxiety and burnout. The quiet space is the tool that makes everything else possible."

📢

Requesting advance notice of changes to routine

Unexpected changes are one of the biggest load rocks. Prevention is possible.

›

For many ND children, unexpected changes aren't just inconvenient; they're neurologically threatening. Advance notice is a low-cost, high-impact adjustment.

📋 The Script

I'd like to request that [child's name] receives advance notice of any changes to their routine; things like relief teachers, excursions, timetable changes, or changes to where they eat lunch.

For ND children, unexpected change isn't just stressful; it can trigger significant dysregulation that affects the rest of their day. A quick note home the day before, or a heads-up in the morning, can make an enormous difference. This is a low-cost adjustment that I'd like documented in their plan.

[Your name]
[Phone / preferred contact method]

🔁 If They Push Back

"We can't always predict what will change."

Say: "Absolutely; I understand that. For the things that can be planned in advance, like excursions and timetable changes, I'd appreciate notice. For truly unexpected things, even a quick 'something different is happening today' when [child's name] arrives can help their nervous system prepare."

✏️

Requesting modified homework or no homework

School is already a full day of masking. Home is recovery time.

›

Many ND children arrive home from school in a state of exhaustion after a day of sustained regulation, social performance and sensory management. Homework in this state is not productive; it's harmful.

📋 The Script

I'd like to discuss modifying [child's name]'s homework load. By the time they get home from school, they have used all their regulation capacity for the day. Asking them to do academic work at that point isn't productive; it leads to significant distress and doesn't result in learning.

I'd like to either reduce the homework load significantly, or agree that homework will only be set when it can reasonably be completed, and that it won't be penalised if [child's name] cannot complete it on a hard day.

[Your name]
[Phone / preferred contact method]

🔁 If They Push Back

"Homework is important for consolidating learning."

Say: "I agree when a child is regulated and has capacity. For [child's name], homework in their current state is producing distress, not consolidation. A dysregulated nervous system cannot learn. I'd rather they have downtime and come to school ready to engage, than spend two hours fighting over homework and arriving exhausted."

🎯

Reframing goals that focus on appearance or compliance

When a goal is really about looking neurotypical rather than helping your child thrive, here's how to gently redirect.

›

Sometimes goals focus on how a child appears, sitting still, making eye contact, reducing stimming, rather than what they actually need to access learning and feel okay. You can redirect these gently and collaboratively.

📋 The Script

I wanted to ask a question about this goal. As I read it, I'm wondering if we could reframe it slightly, rather than focusing on [what the current goal targets], could we frame it around what we actually want [child's name] to be able to do?

For example, instead of [current goal], could we look at something like [accessing learning comfortably / communicating their needs / feeling settled enough to engage]? Goals framed around access and support tend to feel more achievable, and I think [child's name] would find them easier to work towards.

I'm really keen to make sure the goals are set up for [child's name] to succeed, and I'm happy to talk through alternatives if that's helpful.

[Your name]
[Phone / preferred contact method]

🔁 If They Push Back

"They need to learn these skills to function in the real world."

Say: "I want that too, I want [child's name] to be able to navigate the world. I just think the best way to get there is building genuine skills like self-advocacy, communication and regulation, rather than focusing on how they look to others. A child who can ask for what they need tends to do really well long-term."

Asking for strengths-based goals

Goals should build on your child's strengths and also support their growth.

›

Strengths-based goals lead to better outcomes and preserve your child's sense of capability and dignity. When children feel valued for what they can do, they're far more able to work on areas of growth too.

📋 The Script

Looking at these goals, they're all focused on what [child's name] can't do yet. I'd like to make sure we also have goals that build on their strengths.

[Child's name] is [strength; e.g. 'incredibly motivated when topics connect to their interests / highly creative / a strong visual learner']. Can we build at least one goal around leveraging that strength? Goals that connect to what a child is good at lead to better engagement and better outcomes.

[Your name]
[Phone / preferred contact method]

🔁 If They Push Back

"We focus on areas of need in goal setting."

Say: "I understand, and I'm not asking to ignore areas of need. I'm asking that we don't only address deficits. Strengths-based approaches are supported by research and are part of the NDIS planning framework too. A child who feels capable and valued is far more able to work on challenging goals."

Asking for your child's voice to be included in goal setting

Children should be part of decisions made about them. Even young ones.

›

Nothing about us without us. Self-advocacy starts when children are included in their own planning, even if their contribution is small.

📋 The Script

I'd like [child's name] to be included in the goal-setting process; at whatever level is appropriate for their age and communication. They should have a say in what we're working on and why.

Even if they can't attend the full meeting, I'd like us to ask them beforehand, what they find hard, what they'd like to be different, and what they're most proud of. Their answers should shape what we set as goals.

[Your name]
[Phone / preferred contact method]

🔁 If They Push Back

"They're too young / it's too complex for them to understand."

Say: "Their input doesn't have to be complex. Even asking a young child 'what's the hardest part of your day?' or 'what would make school better?' gives us valuable information. Children are the experts on their own experience, and including them, even a little, builds the self-advocacy skills they'll need for life."

🔍

Requesting a review when goals aren't working

If progress isn't happening, the plan needs to change, not the child.

›

When a child isn't meeting their goals, the instinct is often to push harder. But if the environment, supports, or approach aren't right; more effort won't help.

📋 The Script

I'd like to request a review of [child's name]'s current goals. We've been working toward [goal] for [time period] and I'm not seeing the progress we'd hoped for.

I don't think the issue is [child's name]'s effort or capacity. I think we need to look at whether the supports are right, whether the goal is appropriate, and whether there are barriers in the environment we haven't addressed yet. Can we meet to review the plan?

[Your name]
[Phone / preferred contact method]

🔁 If They Push Back

"These things take time; we need to give it longer."

Say: "I understand that progress isn't linear. But [timeframe] without meaningful movement tells me something in the approach isn't working. I'd rather review early and adjust than persist with something that isn't helping. Can we at least have a conversation about it?"

📧

School fit guide; questions to ask on a visit

Use these questions on a tour or school visit to find out how a school actually supports ND kids, not just what they say in the brochure.

›

Choosing a school is one of the most important decisions ND families make. Most schools will say the right things on a tour, these questions help you find out how a school actually operates.

📋 Questions to ask

Learning Support & Adjustments
• Do you have a dedicated Learning Support coordinator or inclusion team, and how are learning support staff involved in day-to-day classroom planning?
• How are Individual Learning Plans (ILPs) developed, and are parents actively involved in writing them?
• How does the school track and review reasonable adjustments over time?

Sensory & Regulation
• Is there a quiet space or calm-down area students can access when they're overwhelmed? How does a child get there without it being stigmatising?
• What is your approach to movement breaks, sensory tools (fidgets, ear defenders), or flexible seating?
• What does your response look like when a child is dysregulated?

Staff Training & Culture
• What neurodivergent-specific training have your teachers and support staff received?
• Do staff understand that a child who seems fine at school may be struggling significantly?
• How are behaviour management approaches adapted for ND students?

Communication & Transition
• What does the transition into the school look like for a child who finds new environments challenging?
• How does the school let parents know if something difficult happened during the day?
• How are unexpected changes (fire drills, excursions, timetable changes) communicated to students in advance?

Inclusion & Belonging
• Are ND students learning alongside their peers, or largely pulled out?
• How does the school support social connection for students who find unstructured time (lunch, recess) difficult?
• Can you give an example of how you've supported a child with a complex profile? (No names needed.)

💡 What to listen for

🟢 Green flags

Specific answers with real examples. Language like "co-regulation", "regulation before learning", "flexible supports". They invite you to visit during a normal school day. They know what an ILP is and how to write one collaboratively.

🔴 Red flags

Vague answers ("we treat every child as an individual"). Heavy focus on behaviour management or compliance. "We'll deal with things as they come up." Suggesting your child would need to fit in or adjust to the class rather than the other way around.

🚶

Requesting a school visit before enrolment

Touring a school on your own terms; beyond the official open day.

›

Open days are curated. To really understand a school's culture, you need to visit during a normal school day; ideally at different times. How staff interact with students in corridors and playgrounds tells you more than any brochure.

📋 The Script

Hi [Principal / Enrolments],

We attended your recent open day and are seriously considering [School Name] for our child. Before we make a final decision, I'd love the opportunity to visit during a regular school day; particularly to get a feel for the learning support environment and to speak briefly with your inclusion coordinator or learning support team.

Would it be possible to arrange a visit at a time that suits the school? We'd ideally love to see:
• The quiet/regulation space or calm-down area
• A classroom during a learning block (not just a tour of the building)
• A brief conversation with whoever leads learning support

We're not looking to disrupt the school day; we just want to make sure this is the right fit before we commit. Thank you for considering this.

[Your name]
[Phone / preferred contact method]

myND Child: Scripts for Parents

myNDchild.com

This script is a starting point only and does not constitute legal, educational, or professional advice. Adapt it to your child's specific circumstances before use. For complex matters, seek independent guidance from a qualified disability advocate, solicitor, or education specialist. myNDchild is an organisational and advocacy tool only.

Child Snapshot

1

2

3

4

5

Step 1 of 5

About your child

A brief yet important introduction to your child

Step 2 of 5

Sensory Profile

Tap everything that applies - sensitivities, seeking, or both.

🔊

Auditory · Sound

👁️

Visual · Sight

🤲

Tactile · Touch

👃

Smell sensitivities & Taste preferences

🌀

Vestibular · Movement & Balance

💪

Proprioceptive · Body Awareness

❤️

Interoception · Internal Body Signals

🌊

Stimming · Self-Regulation Behaviours

Anything else about your child's sensory experience?

Step 3 of 5

Communication & Cognition

How does your child communicate, process language, and manage thinking tasks?

👂

Receptive Language · Understanding

🗣️

Expressive Language · Speaking

🤫

Social Communication

⚙️

Processing Speed

🧠

Working Memory

⚡

Executive Function

📚

Learning Profile

Best ways to communicate with your child

Step 4 of 5

Regulation, Triggers & Wellbeing

Help others understand your child's nervous system, what pushes them outside their window, and what brings them back.

Common Triggers · Adds to the Load

🚦

Demand Avoidance

😟

Anxiety & Emotional Regulation

😴

Sleep

✅

What Helps When Dysregulated

🚫

What to Avoid When Dysregulated

Step 5 of 5

Strengths, Interests & School Supports

This is the most important page. Your child's strengths, passions, and personality are what make them who they are.

Strengths & Wonderful Qualities

Special interests or passions

🏫

Helpful School Supports & Accommodations

What makes your child thrive?

A Snapshot of Your Child

Strengths & What Makes This Child Wonderful

Toolkit

Find and save useful information to support your child and your advocacy.

Guides

Essential topics every ND parent should understand.

Glossary

Plain-English definitions for terms in reports and appointments.

Language Cards

Short, practical cards on sensory needs and daily strategies.

📓

Journal

Your observations, in two views.

Toolkit

Essential Guides

The things every teacher, support worker, and family member needs to understand. Tap any topic to read more.

Window of Tolerance

What it means when your child is "in the window" and what happens when they're not.

›

🪟 What is the Window?

The Window of Tolerance is the nervous system "sweet spot", the zone where your child can think, learn, connect, and respond flexibly. Outside it, none of those things are fully available.

The three zones

🔺

Hyperarousal: Above the window

Fight or flight. Overwhelmed, reactive, driven to escape. Language and reasoning are significantly reduced.

✅

Window of Tolerance: Regulated

Able to think, learn, engage, and connect. This is the only zone where learning sticks.

🔻

Hypoarousal: Below the window

Shutdown. Withdrawn, rigid, disengaged. This is also dysregulation, not laziness or defiance.

The golden rule

Regulation comes before engagement.

A child outside their window cannot learn. Always restore regulation first.

💡 Learn your child's early dysregulation signs and act before they exit the window. Prevention takes far less energy than recovery.

The Backpack: Load, Capacity & Burnout

Why your child can handle something on Monday but completely falls apart on Friday.

›

The invisible backpack

Every sensory input, social demand, transition, and unexpected change adds a rock. When it's too heavy, the nervous system exits the Window of Tolerance. Many ND children start the day with rocks already loaded.

What adds rocks

👂

Sensory Input

Noise, light, textures, smells, crowds. All require active processing

🤝

Social Demands

Eye contact, conversation scripts, reading social cues, group work

🔄

Transitions & Surprises

Changes to routine, unexpected events, moving between tasks

😴

Poor Sleep or Anxiety

Many ND children start the day with rocks already loaded from overnight stress

Dysregulation vs burnout

⚡ Dysregulation

Short-term overload

Recovers in hours–days

Clear trigger

🔥 Burnout

Weeks of overload

Takes weeks or months

Loss of skills, shutdown

💡 Track load across the week. Protect Fridays. Build decompression time after school. Reduce demands proactively on heavy-backpack days.

Interoception: The Hidden 8th Sense

Why your child doesn't notice hunger, thirst, or needing the toilet until it's urgent.

›

❤️ The hidden 8th sense

Interoception is the ability to sense the internal state of your own body. It's how you know you're hungry, thirsty, hot, tired, or need the toilet. Many ND children have significantly reduced interoceptive awareness.

What it controls

🍽️

Hunger & Thirst

Sensing an empty stomach or dry mouth before it becomes urgent

🚽

Toilet Signals

Noticing the urge with enough time to respond calmly

🌡️

Temperature & Pain

Feeling cold, hot, or injured before it escalates

💛

Emotions

Noticing anxiety, sadness, or frustration as physical sensations in the body

Common signs

Dysregulation from hunger with no warning · toilet accidents · wearing a coat in summer · unable to name feelings · unaware of illness or injury

💡 Build scheduled check-ins ("Is your tummy empty?"), offer food and water proactively, and use visual body-check tools. Never assume your child is ignoring signals on purpose.

🖥️

My Nervous System: How My Body WorksComing soon

For kids: your nervous system is like a computer running your whole body, and sometimes it glitches.

›

🖥️ Your body's command centre

Your nervous system runs everything: movement, feeling, thinking, breathing, 24/7, even while you sleep. Like an operating system that never switches off.

The three states

✅

Regulated: In the Window

Messages flow smoothly. Thinking brain is online. You can focus, learn, connect, and try hard things.

🚨

Hyper: Fight or Flight

Mind: overwhelmed · anxious · need to escape · Body: hot · shaky · heart racing · muscles tight

🪫

Hypo: Low Power Mode

Mind: foggy · blank · disconnected · Body: heavy · tired · slumped · hard to move

Key insight

When dysregulated, following instructions, remembering things, or communicating is genuinely hard, not a choice. It's a glitch, not naughtiness.

💡 For grown-ups: When a child is dysregulated, the thinking brain is literally less accessible. The first job is always to help restore regulation, then connect, then redirect.

⏱️

Processing SpeedComing soon

Slower processing does not mean less intelligence. Here's what it actually means.

›

⏱️ What is processing speed?

Processing speed is how quickly the brain takes in, interprets, and responds to information. Many ND children process significantly slower in some or all areas - this is neurological, not motivational.

What it does and doesn't mean

✗ Does NOT mean

🚫 Less intelligent

🚫 Not understanding

🚫 Not listening

🚫 Choosing to be slow

✓ Does mean

✅ Needs more time

✅ Needs fewer steps

✅ No time pressure

✅ Needs patience

A child with slower processing does their best thinking when given time. Time = access. Time pressure activates stress responses that make it harder to think clearly.

Strategies

⏳

Wait 10+ seconds

After asking a question, pause. Don't rephrase or repeat immediately

📝

Remove time limits

On assessments, tasks, and transitions wherever possible

🏆

Never equate speed with ability

Slowness is a processing style, not a measure of intelligence or effort

💡 A child who takes 30 seconds to answer may be doing the deepest thinking in the room.

🌊

Stimming: A Self-Regulation ToolComing soon

Why stimming helps and should never be suppressed.

›

🌊 What is stimming?

Stimming (self-stimulatory behaviour) is repetitive movement, sound, or sensation. It is a self-regulation tool, not a behaviour problem. It serves vital neurological functions.

Why stimming helps

🧘

Regulates the nervous system

Provides sensory input that calms or activates the system to stay in the window

🎯

Maintains focus

Repetitive movement frees up cognitive bandwidth for listening and thinking

💬

Expresses emotion

When words aren't available, stimming communicates internal states

🛡️

Filters sensory input

Creates predictable sensation to mask overwhelming or unpredictable input

Suppression vs support

✗ Suppressing

🚫 Increases anxiety

🚫 Reduces capacity

🚫 Teaches shame

🚫 Causes masking

✓ Supporting

✅ Reduces anxiety

✅ Builds regulation

✅ Builds trust

✅ Prevents burnout

A child stimming more than usual is communicating that their load is increasing. This is useful information, not a behaviour target.

💡 Allow stimming everywhere unless it causes harm. Provide tools: chewelry, fidgets, rocking chairs. Never require "sitting still" as a condition for learning.

🧠

Executive Function & Working MemoryComing soon

Why starting tasks, organising, and remembering is genuinely hard, not laziness.

›

🧠 What is executive function?

The brain's management system: planning, focus, task initiation, emotional regulation, and flexibility. Working memory is our mental "sticky note." Both are neurologically impacted in ADHD and autism.

Skills commonly affected

🚀

Task Initiation

Starting a task, even a wanted one, can feel impossible without external prompting

📋

Planning & Organisation

Sequencing steps, managing time, keeping track of materials

📌

Working Memory

Holding instructions in mind while doing something. The sticky note that runs out of space fast

🔄

Cognitive Flexibility

Switching tasks, adapting to changes, seeing things from other perspectives

Hyperfocus

Hyperfocus is part of this profile. It is not inconsistency. It reflects how interest and motivation activate the executive system differently. The capacity is there; access is interest-dependent.

Strategies that work

✅

Visual checklists

Offload working memory onto paper, one step at a time

1️⃣

One instruction at a time

Multi-step instructions exceed working memory capacity

Advance warning

Preview transitions and upcoming demands to reduce cognitive load

💡 "Not doing it" is usually "can't get started", not won't. Remove the initiation barrier with one tiny first step.

🚦

PDA Profile: Pervasive Drive for AutonomyComing soon

An anxiety-driven need for control that looks like defiance, but isn't.

›

🚦 What is PDA?

PDA is a profile within the autism spectrum characterised by an anxiety-driven need to resist or avoid everyday demands. The avoidance is not defiance. It is the nervous system perceiving demands as threatening.

What's actually happening

😰

Anxiety, not defiance

The demand activates a threat response. Avoidance is the nervous system self-protecting.

🎭

Can't, not won't

Even enjoyable activities can be avoided when presented as demands or expectations

🔓

Control = safety

Autonomy and genuine choice reduce the perceived threat, lowering anxiety and avoidance

What works vs what doesn't

✗ Escalates anxiety

🚫 Reward/consequence systems

🚫 Direct demands

🚫 Applying pressure

🚫 Rigid structure

✓ Reduces anxiety

✅ Genuine choices

✅ Indirect language

✅ Collaborative approach

✅ Humour & connection

Language swaps

"You need to get dressed."

→

"I wonder if the blue one or the red one feels right today?"

"Stop that and come here."

→

"When you're ready, I'd love your help with something."

"If you do this, you'll get a reward."

→

"No pressure, just wanted to let you know it's an option."

💡 Build connection first. Safety comes before compliance. A connected child with PDA will collaborate; a pressured one cannot.

🎭

Masking & the After-School CrashComing soon

Why your child holds it together at school and falls apart at home.

›

🎭 What is masking?

Masking is the active suppression of natural ND traits to appear neurotypical. Many ND children mask throughout the school day: controlling stimming, forcing eye contact, scripting conversations, monitoring every interaction.

The cost of masking

🔋

Massive energy drain

Masking all day uses an enormous amount of cognitive and emotional resource

Overloaded backpack

A child who masked arrives home with almost no capacity left for anything

🪨

Long-term cost

Prolonged masking leads to identity confusion, anxiety, depression, and burnout

The after-school crash

Dysregulation, shutdown, or extreme distress at home after school are a sign of how hard your child worked all day. It is not bad parenting. Home is the one place they feel safe enough to fall apart.

The decompression window

🍎

Food first

Hunger multiplies dysregulation, offer a snack before anything else

🤫

No questions

"How was school?" adds demand load. Save it for later when they're regulated

🎮

Preferred activity

Let them decompress with whatever regulates them: screens, movement, quiet

📚

No homework yet

At least 30–60 minutes of no-demand time before any expectations

💡 The mask comes off at home because you are the safe person. Their worst behaviour at home often means they trust you most.

More guides on the way

New essential guides are added regularly. Topics coming soon include sensory processing, sleep, transitions, and more.

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myNDchild.com

Who we are

myNDchild is built by Melissa Walsh (Victoria, Australia). I'm a ND parent who makes tools to help parents advocate for their neurodivergent children. I take your trust, and your children's data, seriously.

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